'Til Death Do Us Part...

There's a reason that this statement is part of the wedding vows. It's purpose, at least I thought, is to impose upon the consenting parties that this union is supposed to last for the remainder of their lives. When one spouse dies the other becomes 'not married' henceforth. This ensures (theoretically, of course) that the couple will only part ways if one of them dies.

However, in this age of privacy acts and frivolous lawsuits, 'Til Death Do Us Part has taken on a whole new meaning. There was a time when a spouse was treated by all "outside forces" as practically the same as the person whom they married. As a husband or a wife, you could call places and get info on each other. Doctors would tell you what was ailing your spouse openly and freely. Government agencies had no qualms about telling folks how much their spouses were drawing each month, make changes to "official" documents upon request from a spouse and basically be a tell all of everything.

Not anymore! Those days are a distant memory in the computer banks of life. Now you must show "legal authority" in order to get so much as the time of day for anyone other than yourself.

I get a call yesterday from the home health agency that cared for my husband in his last days (yes, the one who failed to get me help for 2 weeks in April when I first brought him home) informing me that the claims they were filing for payment from Medicare were being rejected because they were no longer his primary care insurance. WHAT THE HEEZY? They asked me to call Medicare and find out what the problem might be. GREAT! FREAKIN GREAT is what initially runs through my mind.

I call Medicare and explain my plight. Tell them that I'm his surviving spouse and that the claims from the home health agency are being rejected due to Medicare stating they're not his primary insurance which is surely a mistake since they've been his primary insurance payer since 2004. After the obligatory 20 questions to make sure I was THE Mrs. Freeman, the kind representative says, "I'm sorry I can't discuss this with you unless you have proof of "legal authority". "Excuse me? Proof of what?" "Legal authority, you know, executor ship or something like that." "I'm next of kin, we were legally married at the time of his death and I need to know why you're not paying these claims since you've been the primary insurance since 2004." Again, she tells me she can't discuss this with me if I don't have "legal authority". She starts to give me all this information about a state health insurance program office (SHIP) and says I should call them if I have questions about this case. The smart a$$ in me says, before I can stop myself, "so I guess being married to someone means squat anymore right?" "I'm just following Medicare guidelines here ma'am." "Yes, you've told me that several times over the course of this conversation. And how is that garbage you've told me about a SHIP office supposed to help me?" "They can be your advocate if you have a dispute with Medicare." "I don't have a dispute except that you won't talk to me regarding my husband's insurance." So then I ask her this simple question, "If you can't talk to me as his legal spouse or his next of kin, then who can you talk to about his case?" She apparently has no answer for this since she didn't give me one.

I called the home health agency and told them that Medicare wouldn't talk to me about my husband's case. They informed me that they called Medicare after I had spoken with them earlier and that Medicare had corrected the problem and put themselves as his primary payer since 2006. Well that's just dandy!

So let me just shine a bit of light into this dark situation for you. Medicare won't discuss anything with me. I was his legal spouse at the time of his death and we've been married since 2002, I've lived in the same house with him since 1985, the Social Security Administration recognized me as his "representative payee"; but his "ex", who hasn't lived with him since 1973 and they've been divorced since 2002 can get money on his social security record. Go figure! And people want these folks to manage health care for the entire population? They can't manage the stuff that they're currently in charge of. How do you supposed this is going to turn out? Be afraid....be very afraid!

So the phrase 'Til Death Do Us Part now means that once your spouse dies, you become nothing more than another single person in the eyes of the government. Sad to say the least.