A Family Affair

I grew up with only 1 sister. It was just she & I. She was older so I was the baby (ewwww..lol). So I never knew what it was like to have a large, immediate family. I have always looked at large families as being too many people in 1 place at one time. I never really wished I had more brothers and sisters.

Then, I met my future husband. We dated for a short while and then moved in together and lasted for 25 years. Imagine the look on my face when he informed me for the first time that he had 11 siblings. E-L-E-V-E-N! I'm sure I must have made some type of face (not a good one either) and probably said something stupid like, "how did you survive with that many people in the house?". He then explained to me that all eleven never resided in the same house at the same time. The older 6 were out of the house when the younger 6 were being reared for the most part. I was still floored by the fact that a woman could have that many children and still have all of her hair!

I didn't know what to think of having that big of a family. I was nervous when it came time to meet ALL of these people. Thank God my future husband thought of my sanity and "eased" me into meeting them. It was done a tablespoon at a time. Kind of like sipping that nasty cough syrup one slurp at a time. Eventually you get it all down, it just takes longer. The small doses worked for me and probably for them as well.

25 years later, I can't imagine my life without those 11 people and their families(which translates into a HUGE amount of people). Especially now that my husband is no longer on this side of heaven with me. I wasn't sure what was going to come about after my husband's passing. We really weren't particularly close with them in the early years of our relationship. He usually put work, sleep and working on his car before family gatherings. He later learned that was not the way to live life and changed his ways.

There are 7 sisters and 4 brothers left to carry on. They have graciously accepted me as part of this family and they did it a long time ago. I worried, in the moments after my husband's death, if I would be left alone to deal with the loss of the one I loved the most in this world. I knew that wouldn't be the case but I couldn't help but think that on some level.

I've talked with a number of the sisters since he's passed and they've told me how much of a part of this family I've become over the years. I couldn't believe some of the things they were saying. Perhaps I didn't realize just how much I had worked my way into their hearts over the years. It sure is good to know that they see me as part of their lives.

For the first time in my life, I have a big family. I have 11 siblings. And you know what? It's not as bad as I once imagined. In fact it's rather comforting. They circled the wagons and protected me at a time when I needed them most. They have thanked me for the care I gave their brother over the course of his illness and they're checking on me regularly. One sister even told me that since I'm young and chances are I will find a new beau somewhere down the road, that she hoped that I wouldn't cast them aside. Me...cast them aside! I was in awe and touched by that statement because my husband had told me years ago that if and when something ever happened to him, his family would make sure I felt like I belonged. He said, that's what big families do. He liked being part of a big family and he pulled me into his and I think I won't ever be able to walk away from them. I told the sister that spoke those words about not casting them aside that if I do ever meet someone and he's not willing to accept them as part of me, then he'll be cast aside not them. For I will forever remember the moments that have occurred over the last 3 weeks and I don't want to go back to being a family of 2. I've gotten a taste of the big family cake and "how sweet it is"!

Vive La' Big Famlay!