Fillin Time

That's what has consumed me for the past few months. Figuring out ways to fill the vast amount of time that I find myself having these days. Aside from work, I don't really do a whole lot so I've gotten creative with occupying my mind.

EXERCISE
I've started exercising in an effort to keep my idle mind going. How desperate must one be to turn to this form of ancient torture? Yes. Pretty desperate. But it's working. Not only does it occupy my mind, I've lost 29lbs in the process! I never thought I would be capable of losing that much weight again EVER! Now, I haven't lost that much weight since my husband died. I had started trying to lose weight back in February. The majority of the weight, however, has fallen off since his death. I don't eat as big a meal these days. And apparently, eating was my stress reliever during those difficult times when he was so terribly ill. A coping mechanism if you will.

DANCING
I've also started just breaking out in dance at home. I spend a good amount of time with my I-pod attached to my head. I've loaded it with my favorite tunes and some of my husband's favorites as well. So I randomly break out in dance and song during the evening hours at home. I often close the windows, blinds and doors as not to run all of my neighbors away.

COMPUTER
I find myself returning to facebook numerous times during the evening. I don't do those silly, little games that so many of my "friends" do yet. I'm a bit leary of having to download or "allow" access by those little buggers. I've been bitten by the virus bug a few times and I'm a bit trigger shy. But it consumes time nonetheless.

TELEPHONE
I've never been much of a telephone person. Rarely talked on the phone when I was a teenager. Partly because my mom wouldn't allow it and the rest was me. What would we talk about? I saw all of my friends in school everyday so why chit chat during the evening hours? I'd save my conversations for school. (Not during class tho ..:) ). This continued in to my adulthood. Called home sometimes when I was on active duty. After meeting my husband, I talked with him more on the phone sometimes than at home. He was the phone talker. Not me. He called me every night from work. I called him regularly when I was on a Med. Cruise back in 1985-1986. I talk with my mom almost everyday now. Especially since our son was killed. She calls me everyday. And has continued this habit since my husband passed. I've also been instructed to call his siblings as often as needed. I must say I've done this to a small number of them and it's been interesting. I'm branching out in ways I never thought possible. My husband would be proud of his newly born phone talker.

SCRAPBOOKING/CRAFTING
I've gotten half way through the scrapbook of our lives. It got hard and I have had to take a break. I also have tried my hand at sewing. I've got a project that I will pick back up again. And because some of our relatives read this blog, I won't go into any detail as I'm saving it as a surprise for them. Let's just say, it's frustrating if you've not sewn since you were in vacation bible school. But it was interesting to try and I will finish this if it takes me an eternity.

HOUSEHOLD CHORES/LAWNCARE
I find myself checking to make sure the grass is getting cut regularly. I always hated cutting the grass but now it's another chore that fills the time. My yard looks great! I also clean the house regularly and wash the dishes even if they're not running out of the sink! AWESOME! It also fills my time so I try not to think that I'm doing housework. It's time filling.

So there you have the gamut of things I'm trying or re-incorporating in to my life since losing my husband. There are a few other things on the horizon. Lunch out w/a sibling and niece on this Saturday. Trying a new restaurant out in the country. I heard it's really good, homecooking. Yummy. I also purchased tickets to see Stevie Wonder today. He's coming to the Ted Constant Center at ODU in October! I can't wait! I've always wanted to see him and now I have the chance. I'm sad that my husband isn't here to enjoy the show with me. I told him for years that when Stevie came close by we were going. He would have never let me spend that much money on that ticket tho. But I'm sure he's saying, "go ahead dear, go see Stevie and have fun. You deserve it." But did you have to spend that much money? He was el cheapo!

I miss him.