The Silent Enemy

There's always something to be on the lookout for when taking care of a loved one. Blood sugar roller coaster, blood pressure checks, doctor's appointments, interviews for transportation providers outside of dialysis, dialysis treatments, meals, dirty diapers, dirty laundry, etc. It's a never ending barrage.

There is one thing that can undo the confidence of a seasoned caretaker. The dreaded "bed sore". My husband came home with 5 bed sores or pressure sores as they are called nowadays. 2 on his left heel, a few on his right foot and 1 on his coccyx (better known as tailbone). We (the aid & I) were diligent in keeping the areas clean as we could, especially the one on the coccyx. That one is the one in the most precarious position. There are no real bandages that can properly cover that area. So diligence is a must. We actually had it healed over at one point. But it's reared it's ugly head w/a vengeance lately. It's opened back up and gotten bigger and angrier than before. The blame lies w/us(his daily caretakers) and some with the wound nurse that comes 3 times a week. Our blame comes from leaving him sitting up in the geri-chair too long each day. He's unable to move around at any level. Unlike us, he can't shift his weight around when his "hips" getting tired of sitting in one place. That pressure can cause skin breakdown and pressure sores. So slowly but surely it crept in. Ever so slight in it's assault that we barely noticed at first and then BOOM, before we knew it the sore was huge! It was of great concern to all who saw it.

He was ordered to bed rest immediately by his physician. Leave him in the bed and rotate him every 2-3 hours and keep him off of his butt. The aide & I have decided that as long as he's stuck in the bed, we're going to leave those blamed plastic covered diapers off of him as well. My husband doesn't urinate any longer due to the renal disease, so that's not a concern. His stools, on the other hand, come regularly and cause quite the mess. But it's small price to pay to help him to heal. I figure with diligence all around and letting the air get to the wound and keeping it stool free, perhaps we can defeat this all out war. His diabetes doesn't facilitate in any way. It takes diabetics 2 times as long to heal than a person without diabetes. He's propped at a 45-90 degree angle in bed to relieve pressure from that area. Let's hope we can get back in front of it. It can be a determining factor in his health and well being. I've beaten myself up over the last few days. That's elementary patient care. I knew better. But my quest to make him "normal" led to me leaving him in that chair too long at a time. My selfishness. Not his. I still am struggling to accept that nothing about him is normal anymore. I have to give in to the fact that things have changed and I must do what's best for him regardless of how it makes me feel. What an emotion to swallow. It's yet another step in the process. It's hard. But it's harder to know that I've caused him great pain with this sore. Intentionally? No. But pain nonetheless. Would this have happened if he were still in the nursing home? Perhaps. Who knows? After all he did come home with sores. It takes very little time to get these things. They are silent. They can be deadly and they cause tons of work to get them under control. The ones on his feet are getting better slowly but surely.

I've learned my lesson. These illnesses are collectively stronger than I. They are relentless and diligent in their attack. I'm the only force that stands between them and him. With God's grace, mercy and help, we'll get in front of them again.