I first had to get things physically in order. Re-arrange our bedroom in order to make room for the hospital bed. The full sized bed we had occupied since I moved in with him all of those years ago would be too large to remain. It was like saying goodbye to an old friend. I dismantled the bed piece by piece and I thought about how far we had come and how we ended up here. The old friend was now resting in a different room waiting to be placed somewhere for permanent storage. Of course, now I had to find myself something to sleep on. So I started shopping around for a twin bed. Who knew mattress sets would cost a small fortune? Luckily for me the local Mattress Discounters was having a sale. I can now have a good night's sleep on them! Price: $284.00. The salesman tied the mattress to the roof of my small Escort. I carefully made my way back to my home, which was about 5 blocks from the mattress store, navigating turns like you do when competing in the "egg in the spoon" race on May Day in elementary school. I found a twin size bed frame on the employee barter board that's sponsored by my employer. (Think mini-eBay). Price: $100.00. Total spent thus far: $384.00. I dressed my new bed with a cheap set of sheets from Wal-Mart and my favorite NFL team comforter & sham set also from Wal-Mart. It's looks nice!
Next step is to pick a day for him to be discharged from the facility. I take my time with this step as I know I have plenty of time before his coverage runs out. Before I know it, it's the last week of April already! Coverage runs out on May 1st. So I decided on Thursday, April 30th. Since he's already scheduled to be transported to dialysis that day I say why schedule a completely separate transportation day? Just bring him home after dialysis instead of returning him to the nursing facility. The social worker agrees and it's set in stone.
My husband sitting outside of the facility on a nice spring day.
I've asked for several big items to make this as smooth a transition for all involved. He will be bedridden upon his discharge to home so a hospital bed is a must, bedside table, and a patient lift to keep the help from getting back problems. He's not going to lie around in that bed for days on end. Oh no...he must get out and feel a part of the family again.
My goal is to get him out of that bed completely through prayer, daily exercise and love.
A local home health agency will be helping out with his care. They hope to be able to give us 10 hours a day. I still work full time so that will be a tremendous help. I'm figuring that if the home aid will do the majority of the "heavy duty" patient care then I can come home and pick up the "loose ends". This, hopefully, will keep me from getting burned out.
As I contemplate what I'm about to do, I sometimes get an inkling of doubt. Is it the right thing to do? Will I be able to do it for any length of time? Can I do what's necessary for his well being? I know that once he gets here there's no turning back and that my life will change, once again, dramatically. I'll be tied to the home 7 days a week pretty much. No impromptu outings. Everything has to be planned in advance. The world will revolve around him. Funny, that's the very thing I've fought against since I met him 26 years ago. "The world doesn't revolve around John F. you know." That's what I used to say to him whenever I thought he was being particularly selfish about something. The irony of life is amazing.
So in less than 12 hours from now, my husband will return home after being hospitalized for 5 months. This latest illness served as a reminder just how fragile he has become. He hates hospitals, doctors or being handled with "kid gloves". But that is his life now and he must try to remember that whenever he's not well it's important to get to the hospital sooner rather than later.
He's not the man he once was. There have been some changes in his personality with this current illness. But I stood before God and man and spoke the vow: "In sickness and in health, till death do us part." I meant those words at the time I was saying them and I'm living them now.
This will be my account of the struggles and the happiness that undoubtedly will come. A glimpse of what it's like when marriage meets medicine. A portrait of how one family deals with a chronic illness from a personal point of view and how ridiculous things can be when dealing with the powers that be.
I'll welcome him home and hope that I can make things right for him for a little while longer.
So I guess the old saying isn't really true, you can go home again. We're going to give our best effort and hope things turn around for all of us.
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