Happy Birthday to You in Heaven

I often thought over the years about people and their birthdays after they die. Especially over the last 9 years. These years have been particularly difficult for me. I lost my Dad, my mother-in-law, my son, my grandma and my husband in those years.

My husband's 71st birthday is today. February 3rd. A day that I've acknowledged and celebrated with him for the last 25 years. Last year this time, he was in a nursing home. I carried him balloons and a card and sang happy birthday to him. He thanked me but with little enthusiasm. I wondered if he had even remembered it was his day.

This year, I remembered. I took the balloons to the cemetery. Tied them to the vase on our headstone. Sang happy birthday to the ground. What a difference a year makes. I left feeling empty and sad. Wishing for one more smile from him. One more anything from him would do.

So I paused, remembered, and acknowledged his birthday for the 26th time since he came into my life. It was different. I looked up. Smiled to the heavens and said, " Happy Birthday baby. Hope it's better in heaven than it was here for the past few birthdays." As a tear rolled down my cheek, I heard his voice in my head say, "It is my dear, it is."

I miss him. John, my birthday boy in Heaven. Drag racing on those streets of gold must be one sight to behold I bet. See you when I get there. Until then. I'll be loving you.